Unmet Childhood Needs

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In childhood, we need to develop emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially, and psychologically, in order to live full and successful lives. If we have grown up in a family where there has been some form of neglect, affecting our development, we can transition into adulthood carrying unmet needs, which if left unmet can cause problems in living healthy and productive lives.

A child can grow up feeling rejected as a result of these needs not being met. Due to the pain that this can cause, these unmet needs are often denied or suppressed by the child. Unhelpful beliefs and thoughts about the self can develop such as ‘I’m not lovable’ or I’m not good enough’, leading to low self-esteem

In adulthood, these unmet needs and the faulty beliefs that fuel them, often drive a person unconsciously to try and get these needs met. For instance, a person could find themselves engaging in destructive relationships, people pleasing, over eating, or over spending. Any behaviour could become an attempt to satisfy unmet childhood needs.

As a result, life can become unbalanced and unfulfilling, when the effort put into unconsciously trying to meet those needs does not satisfy. This can lead to a range of other problems including stress, burn out, addictions, depression, anxiety and fear.

In order to resolve these unmet needs, they need to be identified and resolved by the person consciously, taking responsibility for the unmet needs, and meeting those needs in a healthy way.

If you would like to speak to one of our counsellors, feel free to make a booking enquirysend us an email or give as a call. We would be happy to answer any questions you may have.