While the INFJ can and does invest in relationships in external ways such as in the practical and material, the INFJs attention is much more attuned and invested in the internal. Above all else, a shared connection of the internal world is the greatest gift an INFJ offers in a relationship.

The main approach to creating this connection is through cultivating harmony with their partner, as the INFJ believes that it will lead to deep connection and fulfilment for the couple. Unfortunately, this core value can be a liability for INFJs if the other person doesn’t share or recognise this value.

INFJs rarely tell you what they need.

Not because they don’t know, but because what they carry is often difficult to translate. Much of their inner world exists beneath language, beneath immediacy, beneath what can be easily pointed to or proven.

INFJs don’t stop being INFJs when they grow up.

Many of the patterns that shape an INFJ adult, like their sensitivity, depth, intuition, and inner complexity, were already present in childhood. They were simply less articulated, less protected, and often less understood.

Unmet needs in childhood, such as inadequate nurture, security, love, attention, and encouragement become drivers of behaviour in adult life. The more neglected these needs are in childhood the needier Mini-Me can become. Whether the Adult self is aware of their needy Mini-Me or not, Mini-Me will do everything they can to get these needs met.